One thing you will realize as you get to know us is that Kimchi and I are very practical people. We have our moments of whimsy, things that fuel our passions, and emotional outbursts just like any other woman. But on the whole, we are all about being practical and hands-on. You tell us your problem, we’ll lend a shoulder to cry on, but then we’ll start helping shape a plan to solve said problem. It’s just the way we are. As a result, Tuesdays are “Tip Day” (for lack of a more creative title at the moment) where we get all practical with lists and steps…but we’ll still make it fun. You trust us, right?
So, yesterday we talked about how love is the foundation for any relationship. Of course, we realize that there are different levels of love—I know we’re not going to love someone random stranger on the street as we love our families. Brandon Heath says it right in his song “Give Me Your Eyes”:
“Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so that I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity”
Tip #1: We need to have love for humanity as a whole in order to have compassion for the individual.
Tip #2: Realize that every person has a story. We’re all born the same way—well, metaphorically. People don’t get to where they are just by happenstance, a life of experiences and choices led them to this point in their lives—good or bad. Learning that in the little things, will open your heart to the larger picture. The guy who cut you off in traffic is on the way to the hospital where his son is in the ER after being shot. The cashier who was rude to you is suffering from exhaustion. She works three jobs to keep her four kids fed after their deadbeat father skipped out on them. Everyone has a story.
Tip #3: To get love, you have to give love. We need love just as much as everyone else—but as love is a foundation, you won’t necessarily get it unless you give it. It’s tempting for us to give into the drama on our streets as woman turns against woman, especially when we’ve been wronged. But we can’t expect things to change unless we’re willing to change.
Tip #4: Don’t ignore your gut. God opens opportunities if we listen. He also closes doors when we’re not where we’re supposed to be. Even if you don’t believe in God, you know the feeling we’re talking about. It’s not the “I’m scared to reach out” feeling, but the one that says “Danger!”.
Foundations are important. Buildings stand or crumble based on the foundation. So do relationships—no matter how fleeting. The point is to get out there. Love is the foundation for relationships—and life. We can build on anything where the foundation is love.
Is there someone you know that needs some love today?
So, true Ralene about love being foundational. It is a give and take situation but it starts with giving! But also it important to receive it too, this has been a problem for me at times when I wasn't healed in places in my heart and was bitter. So many times in my life people met me with practical love like making me a meal when I was sick or watching my kids for me or encouraging me. Then there were other times that love came in a way of a hug, a card or simple smile. Even praying for me was one way people loved the most. I think if we focus on loving people where they are at in life and with whatever means we have counts in ways we may never know:) Just making ourselves available to love and be loved makes a big difference and is life-giving to the giver and the recipient.
ReplyDeleteI whole heartedly agree.. My professor gave us this poem that will help us remember that we are all people and I would like to share it because it shows that everyone needs love . My other thing is this .. in order to get love you must give love . It goes hand in hand with friendships .. in order to have a friend you must first be a friend. It took me a long time to realize that in order for me to love my self and love others I had to first know the love God has for me ... that was a hard lesson in my life because of course im stubborn and don't always catch on right away lol ..
ReplyDeletethe poem Crabby Old Man:
what do you see nurses?......what do you see?
what are you thinking ...when you look at me ?
a crabby old man..... not very wise,
uncertain of habit ....with faraway eyes ?
who dribbles his food ... and makes no reply .
when you say in a loud voice
"I do wish you'd try ! "
who seems not to notice the things that you do.
and forever is losing .. a sock or shoe ?
who,resisting or not ..lets you do as you will,
with bathing and feeding..the long day to fill?
is that what you're thinking ?
is that what you see?
then open your eyes , nurse .. you're not looking at me .
Ill tell you who i am .. as i sit here so still,
as i do at your bidding ... as i eat at your will.
Im a small child of Ten, .. with a father and a mother , brothers and sisters .. who love one another .
a young boy of 16 ..with wings on his feet.
dreaming of that soon now .. a lover he'll meet.
a groom soon at 20..my heart gives a leap.
remembering , the vows ..that i promised to keep
at 25 ,now ... I have young of my own.
who need me to guide .. and secure a happy home.
a man of 30..my young now grown fast,
bound to each other .. with ties that should last.
at 40, my young sons.. have grown and are gone,
but my woman's beside me .. to see i dont mourn.
at 50,once more , babies play 'round my knee,
again , we know children ,, my loved one and me .
dark days are upon me , my wife is now dead .
i look at the future .. shudder with dread.
for my young are all rearing .. young of their own.and i think of the years .. and the love that Ive known.
im now an old man .. and nature is cruel.
tis jest tomake an old age.. look like a fool.
the body , it crumbles .. grace and vigor , depart. there is now a stone .. where I once had a heart .
But insinde this old carcass.. a young guy still dwells, an dnow and again .. my battered heart swells. I remember the joys .. i remember the pain. And im loving and living .. life over again.
I think of the years , all too few .. gone too fast. and accept the stark fact..that nothing can last. so open your eyes , people .. open and see. Not a crabby old man .. Look closer ..
see ME !!
so i salute you fine women for bringing up this point I hope this poem helps some and isnt depressing it just goes to show that every one needs love and aknowlegment in life . It helps you to look beyond what you see on the outside of a person .